|
|
| Positive Attitude Tips & Information |
|
Self-Sabotage - Are We Prisoners of the Past?
Many people who suffer from low self-esteem would give anything to escape their painful feelings of inferiority. Almost anything, that is. People are reluctant, even obstinate, when it comes to giving up their illusions of an idyllic childhood. And yet, if we are to break free from our mental prisons, we must become willing to honor the truth of our personal history. This is the key to removing our invisible psychological and emotional chains. Lack of Self-Worth Does Not Develop in a Vacuum There is just no getting around the fact that our core beliefs about the world and ourselves and our place in this world are pretty firmly established by the time we are three or four years old. Lack of parental approval in early childhood exacts a heavy toll. Low self-esteem, the root of all self-sabotaging behavior, hangs heavy around our necks for life "I Left All That Behind a Long Time Ago" People are quick to grasp at a simple "Out of sight, out of mind" escape. Sadly, this is a fantasy. While you can, indeed, leave home and leave your family life behind, their influence does not leave you. Negative parental messages carry enormous weight. It is through these concepts that everything else later on, (i.e., for the rest of our lives) is filtered. Clearly then, if these basic messages are more negative than positive, it is not surprising that we would wind up with a badly mangled sense of self-worth. A life of self-sabotage and perpetual dissatisfaction is what results, because we simply do not believe, at a SUBCONSCIOUS level, that we are worth anything better. Traditional Morality Would Have Us Turn Away People recoil at the idea of finding fault with their parents. We have many religious, social and cultural injunctions to honor, obey, respect, forgive, and worship our elders. These commandments prevent us from looking upon our caretakers in a less than adoring way without incurring a tremendous sense of guilt, betrayal and ingratitude. So we remain unaware. What people fail to appreciate is that it is only by shattering our ignorance and examining our formative years that we can come to understand what makes us tick. This awareness will, in turn, allow us to process any distress so that we may finally release it. Not ignore it, not camouflage it, but finally release it. This is all done in a spirit of healing, not one of self-pity, and certainly not one of denunciation. As a result of discovering and embracing our emotions rather than squelching them, we can finally come alive. Not only do we gain a new sense of vitality, but we gain a new source of wisdom. And our awareness allows us to cut negative patterns off at their source. You see, we cannot let go of something if we don't allow ourselves to acknowledge what we are hanging on to. Rational Justifications Do NOT Penetrate the Subconscious Mind Many well-intentioned people and spiritual mentors will agree that while injurious things may have been said and done, we should be mature or evolved enough to understand that our caretakers were doing the best they could. After all, they didn't mean to hurt us with their harshness or neglect. Why don't we just rise above it and move on? Surely we are noble and generous-hearted enough to forgive them, yes? Well, no, actually. And for two very important reasons. First, this is an attempt to reason things out consciously. It is a fruitless activity, because it does nothing to reach and alter the core beliefs and distress that are stuffed down BEYOND conscious access. And second, the person whose body and/or emotions were assailed was NOT an adult capable of reasoning things out so rationally. The early distress lives on unabated. We Cannot Live With the Results We may be able to carry on, but we cannot really live and flourish while those negative core beliefs remain frozen in time. The tragedy for so many of us is that they remain lodged firmly in place today, without our consent and without our conscious awareness. Down With the Taboo Against Knowing Who We Are Rather than continue to justify our ignorance, we must dare to bring the unconscious to conscious light. There are compelling reasons for doing so. ? To heal a mutilated sense of self-worth. And finally, and perhaps most compelling of all, if traditional morality continues to deny us knowledge of ourselves and our history, our bodies will end up speaking for us. And this it will do by erupting into disease. Witness the alarming number of people who suffer from depression today. Our psychological and emotional disturbances must eventually surface as some type of physical or mental malady. Or as I heard somewhere along the way, "If your mouth won't say it straight, your body will say it crooked." And according to the title of Dr. Alice Miller's most recent book on the victimization of children, The Body Never Lies. Time spent digesting any of Dr. Miller's books is time well spent, indeed. The greatest healing contribution any of us can make to world is to heal our own wounds, not hide from them or deny them or justify them. After all, we do want to live and not just survive, don't we? Rosella Aranda is the author of Sabotage Thyself No More, an excellent guide to raising your sense of personal worth and getting rid of self-defeating behaviors. Free Mini-Course at http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Thinking Your Way To Success: Materializing Your Goals Through The Power of Thought THOUGHTS are powerful. The power of THOUGHTS cannot be underestimated. What we believe is what we create in our lives. The more we think about something, the more we magnetize it and feed it power. Nothing was ever created in this universe without a THOUGHT preceding it. How To Have A Life Changing Experience Can you really plan a life-changing experience, or do they just happen? Are they accident's of fate, inherited life forces, or can they be experiences the we choose? How To Talk Your Way To Success Smart folk have always realised how vital it is to talk positively to themselves as well as to other people. A bit of research will show you how these successful men and women not only visualise their goals but also frame them in words they constantly repeat to themselves. Be Thankful for What You Have Got Did you know that the 911 equivalent in the UK (999) now has call waiting? I hope that you never find out for yourself. Our Beliefs Define Our Limits The universe is vast, it's dimensions inconceivable, it's potentialities unimaginable, and we know too that our own consciousness has depths to it that are virtually infinite, and yet despite this enormity within and without, we choose to confine ourselves to beliefs in scarce resources. Why You Must Learn to Forgive for the Sake of Your Own Happiness Your ability to forgive those who have hurt you in the past is a crucial stepping stone to your spiritual and emotional growth. Throughout the course of our lives, we collect emotional baggage. This is unavoidable, and even though it can cause us a great deal of pain, it helps us to define who we are as people; the result is, we grow even more and learn valuable lessons along the way about ourselves and others. Taking Yourself Too Seriously? - Suggestions for Reclaiming Your Perspective "We can change our circumstances by a mere change of our attitude." - William James, 19th Century American psychologist and philosopher Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part 2 When you have a case of FABS, it may be hard to eradicate, but it is far from impossible. Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame may be different emotions, but they can all be gotten rid of in the same ways: A Negative Experience an Opportunity? Early in my career a position became available which I thought I was entitled to. I had the experience and a good performance record. Much to my dismay it was given to an individual with a university degree. Someone it turned out, I then had to train. At the time it seemed so unfair to me. As A Man Thinketh... "For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. As one who reckons, he says to you, eat and drink, yet his heart is not with you (but is grudging the cost)." Prov. 23:7 (Amplified) Managing Your OCD, Panic Attacks, and Obsessive Thoughts There are times that we encounter fearful thoughts that can be difficult to manage. For some people, the more they try to get rid of the thoughts, the stronger the thoughts become and the more difficult they become to manage. As a result, here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their fearful and obsessive thoughts and anxieties. The 5 Winning Beliefs To Accomplish Anything In Life A more positive future, a happier life, a body that's in better shape or a wealthier mind begins by a winning belief system. Beliefs shape our destiny and the more supporting they are, the more we are able to achieve our goals. Start Your Day on Your Terms Most of us start the day like we're trying to catch a train. We wake up, grab a cup of coffee, look at the paper and listen to the news. We rush out of the house to make an appointment or deadline or to put the finishing touches on a project. From deadline to appointment it goes. When we leave work we have other responsibilities and obligations, and it doesn't end until we go to sleep, and for some it still doesn't end. We never do catch the train. We forgot one essential thing. We are the conductor and the train can't go anywhere without us. Good News! The Pathway of Change Is Predictable Often when radical change occurs in our lives we feel confusion - not only about what's happening but also about how we'll cope with it. This is especially true of negative change such as the loss of a romantic relationship, a job or a loved one. Of course, confusion is perfectly normal and natural, but it needn't get in the way of handling situations effectively and of accommodating any kind of change. Why? Because your personal path through change is probably predictable. C-R-I-T-I-C-I-S-M Yuk! 7 Steps To Change Your Life The quality of your life is directly related to your standards. A standard is a personal rule or expectation about the level of excellence you require in something, and when you raise your standards you change your life. Turning Fear Into Power How would your life shift if you moved into what you feared not away from it, if you moved into the future with controlled abandon ?think about it! One of the things I know from working with people for close to two decades and from my own development is that ? things change. And yet how many people say they hate change. If change is inevitable in growth and you hate change you have a bad equation for a good life. Feelings and Attitudes Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does one cause the other to happen? Which one has more power over how we respond? Does the person experiencing them have any choice in the matter? What if they are in conflict? Heal and Release the Past I had a completely different idea for my main article but certain events that happened today helped me to tune into my soul and listen for what I really want to write about. How To Stay Positive In spite of The Negativity Around You I'm often asked how it is that I stay so positive. Now allow me to clear up some misconceptions you might have based on that last statement. I am not one of those folks that walk around with what is commonly referred to as a career politician's smile painted across my face.
|
|
|
| Home | Site Map | Salesmanship Ebook | Motivational Ebook | Job and Resume Posting| Affiliate program | |
|
| 2006 All Rights Reserved. by Mp.sg Term of use and service for the articles and information |