|
|
| Leadership Information |
|
The Compassion Paradox
Effective leaders are comfortable with paradox. They can call on skills and work in ways that seem to be contradictory. Dictionary.com defines paradox as "a seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true." As I study the field, I find many paradoxes associated with leadership. I see that developing the skills of a great leader requires us to work in apparently contradictory ways that are nonetheless true. I often see my clients and seminar participants wrestle with these issues because they present themselves as extreme and contradictory positions. Many people struggle because they view the paradoxical extremes as either/or positions rather than both/and positions. One dilemma many people have difficulty confronting is, what I call, the Compassion Paradox ? As a leader, you must be compassionate AND you must hold people accountable. Sometimes I say it this way: You cannot be too soft if you want to be compassionate. Let me explain. Depending on their personality style and personal experience, most people fall more on one side or the other of these two extremes. They are great at holding people accountable, but not so great at showing compassion. Or, they are great at showing compassion, but not so great at holding people accountable. Learning to work both ends of this divide is one key to becoming an effective leader. We normally fail to appropriately apply this principle because we do not really understand the two extremes. People who are comfortable with accountability view compassion as too "soft". And, people who are comfortable with compassion view accountability as too "hard". The truth is that neither extreme is either "soft" or "hard". They are simply different responses to different leadership situations. Let's consider the definitions of these two responses Compassion - deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it. Accountability ? the condition of being called to account; answerable. As leaders, we must be aware of people's needs and work to meet them ? i.e. we must be compassionate. We must also hold people accountable. If we fail to hold people accountable, the organization fails. If we do not address concerns, people work at bare minimum levels or they leave. Again, the organization fails. Some people are comfortable with this paradox. I find that most are not. My personal challenge is this - I fall more on the compassion side than on the accountability side. With conscious effort, I have improved my ability to hold people accountable. It is still not natural or comfortable for me. I realize, though, that it is necessary. Whatever your bent, I encourage you to look at your behaviors as a leader. Are you more comfortable with compassion or with accountability? Either way, work to develop comfort with the other. When you can choose your response based on the situation, rather than your personal comfort, you will be skilled at applying the Compassion Paradox. You will be one step closer to acting as a highly effective leader. Copyright 2005, Guy Harris Guy Harris is the Chief Relationship Officer with Principle Driven Consulting. He helps entrepreneurs, business managers, and other organizational leaders build trust, reduce conflict, and improve team performance. Learn more at http://www.principledriven.com Guy co-authored "The Behavior Bucks System TM" to help parents reduce stress and conflict with their children. Learn more about this book at http://www.behaviorbucks.com
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Birth Order - Understand How It Affects Your Personality "Know thyself" is a powerful principle that leaders, managers and effective people intuitively know. Professional Organizations: Join or Fold? All of us join professional organizations for a reason--a friend belongs, we need to for credibility, etc. Many times we let years slide by and we don't stop and review those reasons. Unless something sets off a boundary--lack of funds, the organization runs itself into a ditch, or a leadership problem. Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 6, Deadlocked Discussions Although a meeting is a vehicle for resolving differences, it can break down when the participants become mired in a disagreement. Two Vital Abilities Any Leader Must Have As a business owner, you are a leader whether you like it or not. Whether you like it or not you have to guide your group in order to expand your organization. And whether you like it or not, there are some difficult situations that you have to confront and handle -- hopefully in a way that inspires confidence in you from your staff. You Make The Difference What do you think makes your company successful? Your newest hardware or software? The newest system you've put into place? The best location in town? Although these are important, they are not the key to success. The Defining Moment: The Straw That Stirs The Drink Of Motivational Leadership (Part Two) In Part One, I described the importance of establishing deep, human connections with people you lead. I said there were three ways to do that, by communicating information, by making sense, and by having your experience become their experiences. By far, the most important and most effective way, is the latter. Beyond Authority: Debunking the Top 3 Leadership Myths Have you noticed that across the business world people are recognizing that we are fast outgrowing the thinking and language of hierarchy, but we're also struggling to create a new, more collaborative future? The challenge for all is to figure out how to operate in this emerging paradigm-the one that our own efforts are helping to shape. All You Really Want Is Feeling Good If I asked you what your goal in life is, what would you answer? Well, the answer would be as diversified as people are. The Compassion Paradox Effective leaders are comfortable with paradox. They can call on skills and work in ways that seem to be contradictory. 8 Questions to Ask if You Want to be a Better Leader Those that have successfully made the transition from manager to leader have found the importance of continuously asking questions. Constantly receiving feedback from front line workers enables aleader to understand what is going right and where improvement is needed. At the same time, the leader is showing interest in the front line workers through these questions. However asking questions can become harmful if two key steps do not follow them. Would Socrates Be A Celebrity Today? Last week, as I was standing in the checkout line of my local grocery store, I found myself staring at the dozen or so magazines on display. As I gazed upon the various photos and headlines praising or trashing the celebrity du jour, I got to thinking. The Leader Within Each and every one of you has hidden deep inside a different person a person that is robust insightful originative, a person that you have forgotten that it ever existed. No matter what you believe that person lies within you, waiting for its awakening call. Leadership Challenges: The Walls In Our Lives We have all experienced walls or challenges in our work lives. How you handle the walls may be a defining point in your leadership and your career. There are a variety of ways to attach these walls ? some more effective than others. Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain! As the 'Great And Powerful Oz' once said to Dorothy, "Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain!" and as you know, appearances can be deceiving they are also one of the first things people judge others by. For instance, you recall the old saying 'Never Judge A Book By Its Cover?' well guess what ? we still do! Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 4, Quiet Participants There are many reasons why someone would decline to participate during a meeting. For example, the person may feel reluctant to speak out, may disagree with the approach endorsed by others in the meeting, or may just be tired. Leadership is About Growing Others - Its Not About You! "Before you become a leader success is all about growing yourself. Once you become a leader success is all about growing others." Jack Welch (1935- ) Former Chairman & CEO, General Electric" Extraordinary People in Mediocre Times My grandfather used to speak of the days when people drove the world. It was a time when people were proud to contribute and move society and industry forward at full steam. But, people were proud of themselves! However, before he died, one of his observations was that "we have come to mediocre times." What Kind of Leader Are You? There are literally millions of words written and spoken each week on enlightened leadership yet the fact remains that low morale, high stress and job dissatisfaction continue to be three of the most serious problems facing the workplace. We seem to be so effectively socialized into top down leadership that we find it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to change our autocratic ways. All this in spite of the many workshops and seminars on new leadership paradigms which are rooted in the empowerment of people. Leadership for the Successful Entrepreneur! Why talk about leadership?" The Flexible Leadership Workshop The Leadership Challenge
|
|
|
| Home | Site Map | Salesmanship Ebook | Motivational Ebook | Job and Resume Posting| Affiliate program | |
|
| 2006 All Rights Reserved. by Mp.sg Term of use and service for the articles and information |